Expunging

The human heart is such a fragile thing. It's amazing that it drives the whole organism, when it can succumb to such silly infatuations, and be derailed by simple flirting.

 

Yes, it's easy to love yourself when you are loved by someone special. Sometimes. It's easy to reject yourself when you are rejected by just about anyone. Even the Dunkin Donuts people. I think, in our Western education, we're indoctrinated to take much more notice of the negative marks, the rejections, than of the positive marks. And we are trained in offering criticism more than in offering encouragement. (There's a new project for me Encouragement Education!)

 

Of course, it is ridiculous to have your self image fluctuate with the attentions of another person. The self is a boat on the samsaric sea of life. A strong boat that can travel safely through the storms of love and rejection (both are stormy).

 

Now, the Brain is very cool, understanding these things clearly, and so articulate as well. The flakey Heart goes ballistic whenever there is a storm:  a love storm, or a rejection storm.  How does one master the steadiness without being cold-hearted?

 

Good question. Buddha, of course, had the answer. All things are impermanent. Everybody suffers. Suffering is caused by craving, aversion, and delusion. (Bingo for Buddha on this one!) It is possible to stop suffering. (OK, I'm willing to work with you here.) The way to stop suffering is the eightfold path. (This is where it gets hard. LOTS of work and discipline to even keep track of those eight, much less PRACTICE them.)

 

Yes, I recently had major heart-storms. Love, rejection, confusion, senseless infatuation, unrealistic dreams, dashed hopes... the whole nine yards. I also caused major storms as well. It's a two-party experience. Karma - your experience is the consequence of your actions. Sometimes it comes back atcha fairly quickly.

 

So, I was brewing with loss and confusion (poor me!), and no shoulder to cry on (OMG!!!!) when I learned of another friend heading into the tunnel of breast cancer treatments. Freeze frame. I remember that. Strength. Determination. The strong boat on a samsaric sea. Compassion. Perspective. Recalling the episode of chemotherapy and radiation put this Sad Demise into perspective. It is a spec, a tiny little brook in the river of my life, maybe just a raindrop.

 

The expunging ceremony is scheduled for Saturday afternoon, November 11. The expectations, wishes, foolishness will be shredded and burned. The lessons duly noted on stone tablets. Life goes on. My boat is strong. All are welcome.