Friday, November 24, 2006

Buddhist teachings on relationship...

Buddhist teachings on relationships draw on the productive tension between being fully open to experience and letting go of expectations and attitudes that keep us turning in cyclic existence. 


The Buddha

Don't give way to heedlessness
or to intimacy
with sensual delight--
for a heedful person,
absorbed in jhana,
attains an abundance of ease.

Dhammapada

Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind to Dharma (#4)

The flaws of cyclic existence: Relatives at home, enemies, friends and possessions in the world are the causes of worry for the body and mind. Only virtuous actions can benefit others. Therefore, I will not be attached to these ties and I will cast them away as I would a snake in my lap.

Ngondro Practice text provided to students of Karma Kagyu Tibetan Buddhism

Milarepa

If one stays too long with friends/
They will soon tire of him;
Living in such closeness leads to dislike and hate.
It is but human to expect and demand too much
When one dwells too long in companionship.

"The Song of the Snow Ranges"

Nagarjuna

There is pleasure when a sore is scratched,
But to be without sores is more pleasurable still.
Just so, there are pleasures in worldly desires,
But to be without desires is more pleasurable still.

Nagarjuna, "Precious Garland"

Sharon Salzberg

There's a famous quotation from the time the Buddha learned of the deaths of two of his greatest disciples: "It's as if the sun and the moon have left the sky." From that quotation, I would guess that while the Buddha loved all beings everywhere, with no exclusion, he also had relationships that were special to him, and he felt their loss.

"The Open Heart," Q&A at www.beliefnet.com

Sangharakshita

Sex according to Sangarakshita is rooted in the Lower Evolution and does not, in his experience, enhance communication between individuals. And sexual relationships, encouraging as they do neurotic dependence on one's partner, need to be kept at the periphery of one's life.

"An Introduction to the Friends of the Western Buddhist Order"

Lama Surya Das

This is how we love, Buddha-style: impartial to all, free from excessive attachment or false hope and expectation; accepting, tolerant, and forgiving. Buddhist nonattachment doesn't imply complacence or indifference, or not having committed relationships or being passionately engaged with society, but rather has to do with our effort to defy change and resist the fact of impermanence and our mortality. By holding on to that which in any case is forever slipping through our fingers, we just get rope burn.

"A Buddhist Valentine," from Ask the Lama column at www.beliefnet.com

Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

Free passion is radiation without a radiator, a fluid, pervasive warmth that flows effortlessly. It is not destructive because it is a balanced state of being and highly intelligent. Self-consciousness inhibits this intelligent, balanced state of being. By opening, by dropping our self-conscious grasping, we see not only the surface of an object, but we see the whole way through.

Meditation in Action

Lama Thubten Yeshe

Some people live closely guarded lives, fearful of encountering someone or something that might shatter their insecure spiritual foundation. This attitude, however, is not the fault of religion but of their own limited understanding. True Dharma leads in exactly the opposite direction. It enables one to integrate all the many diverse experiences of life into a meaningful and coherent whole, thereby banishing fear and insecurity completely.

Reprinted from "Daily Wisdom: 365 Buddhist Inspirations," edited by Josh Bartok, Wisdom Publications, 2001

It is precisely because our present life is so inseparably linked with desire that we must make use of desire's tremendous energy if we wish to transform our life into something transcendental.

Introduction to Tantra

No comments: