What's so good about a bad meditation session?
I am now getting a concept. As a novice, practicing meditation, my mind wanders hither and yon... Sometimes I don't even notice until it's way down some path. Then I pull it back gently. Nanoseconds later, it's off again recalling a conversation. Gently I return to my breath. Before I can even finish one inhalation, zoom, it's off on some argument, or anticipating a problem. Gently, I bring attention back to the breath.
I used to think this wasn't a very successful meditation. My ability to keep focus is so tiny. Disappointing. Now, I'm beginning to see it differently. Every time I GENTLY bring myself back to my breathing... each of those experiences IS the practice. Learning to be gentle with myself when I go off course. Learning to bring myself back without criticism, judgment, condemnation. Just coming back. You're ok. It's just fine. Breathe. And doing this again and again, patiently and gently. Like you would guide a toddler who keeps wandering around in the Boston Common... Gently and with kindness.
If I can practice gently redirecting myself 100 times in one sitting, I am learning to guide myself gently. Learning to notice what I'm doing, and adjust, without judgment. And if I can do that 100 times in a sitting, maybe I can learn to do that once or twice in a day.... when I make a mistake, forget something, don't quite meet my objectives, respond harshly. Just notice. And gently redirect, without criticism. Breathe.
So, I'm discovering that the imperfect meditation really is the best training. Because what I'm practicing, and learning, is to be gentle, kind, and observant. To be that way with myself, and hopefully I can be that way with the world.
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1 comment:
ees nice.
muy bien, senora. me gustan tus ideas. Ud. es muy-- how you say-- 'profound'.
you really are taking off as an internet celebrity back here in my home town of Los Pantalones, Uruguay. In fact, just the other day I was in the local Jose's Tienda de Cafe', and I heard some nice looking ninos at the table next to me talking about your blog.
You probably don't know you're so popular here, what with us being half way across the world and all. You see, we have special computers that most common internet tracking sites can't detect. that's because a large portion of our population are actually spies. there's this one very cute girl who keeps coming around, with very distinctive cheekbones and a lovely smile, but varying hair colors/styles...
And there are a lot of people who are too poor to even afford computers. So you have a large reader population in much of southern South America that reads your blog by print out. It gets passed around very quickly.
also by mental telepathy- you'd be surprised how many people don't actually log in to your blog to read it, but just mentally zap themselves to the correct concentration channel and absorb your wisdom sans technological interference.
anyway, have a lovely dovely day.
chao,
con amor,
su fan grande,
Josephina
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